I was talking about a car accident I was in years ago and my daughter had never heard the story. So if I tell it here she will know that I am not as perfect as she thinks I am and she may even learn on how NOT to act.

I grew up in a small farming community with a population of under 2000 at the time. Those of you that grew up in small towns know that there is only one thing to do. Drink and Drag Main.

I don’t even remember how we would get our beer but I started drinking by age 15 with all of my friends. Sometimes we would go to a larger neighboring town and just hang out. Back then other than beer, marijuana was the next worst thing there was. Since we only drank and smoked, we thought we were pretty much in control.

One night my cousin and I and maybe some other friends had met some guys in another town. We invited them to come and see us sometime. Well, soon they did and we decided to have a big ol’ party at my friend Julie’s house. Her parents were out of town and that was the perfect place; high up on the hill away from nosy neighbors.

We were running low on beer so I went with these guys to get some more. We were going to someone else’s house to pick it up. On the way back their car started to pick up speed. I was in the back seat and tried to tell them they needed to take a left to go up the hill to her house. They missed the turnoff and kept going and we ran smack dab into the……9th hole of the town’s golf course.

I know, it sounds freakin’ hilarious! But it wasn’t at the time and I didn’t even know where we were and didn’t find out until the next day.

As we hit, I slammed my head into the bucket seat of the driver, my glasses flew off and landed under the gas pedal and my leg was smashed in the bucket seat as it came back to normal position. It was a small car and I was sitting cross-legged in the back. Seat belts were not mandatory back then either. I don’t even remember what happened to the two guys; but it’s surprising that we all were not seriously hurt or even killed. We got back to the house somehow and I got home somehow too although I don’t remember how.

I got up late and as I came downstairs my dad looked at me and said “What the hell happened to you?” He had been downtown for his morning coffee and the news had spread quickly. Someone had ‘vandalized’ the golf course and there were beer bottles everywhere. The entire 9th green had been scalped off the mound. Somehow he knew I had been involved although I really don’t know how. I was really a good kid although I stayed out late with my friends. But I always told them where I was going and who I would be with. Well, except maybe for this night.

Anyway, shit hit the fan and he was so mad at me, we didn’t speak for weeks. I’m not sure why he was so mad because he was the alcoholic in the family and that’s how I learned to be such a good drinker. I think he was just embarrassed that his kid was involved in something like that. I can truly say that it was the worst and dumbest thing I have ever done. I remember having to go to Julie’s house with my mom, her parents, the cops, and anyone else who was involved. I don’t even remember if we got in trouble because we ratted out the driver and his friend.

I did go to the doctor eventually but by then I was doing better. More than likely I had gotten a concussion but we just didn’t run to the doctor for any little ol’ thing. What’s funny is that Julie’s dad was a doctor but thank Heaven he wasn’t mine. That could have been a little embarrassing. “Yes, Dr. Anderson, I did get a concussion after leaving a drunken party at your house.”

School was almost out by that time and I had to skip PE for the rest of the year (which didn’t hurt my feelings any), due to severe headaches. And I’ve suffered from headaches pretty much ever since then. Maybe that’s why, at age 50 that my body hurts more than I think it should.

I hardly drink anymore now except for holidays and during a good BBQ. And now I am the nosy neighbor breaking up drunken parties. But I do it because I know what it’s like to be young and stupid and thinking you’re in control. But trust me kids, it never ends well.


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